Completeness

The person you go to,

to talk about everything.

The person you go to,

to make sure that you are OK.

The person you go to,

to just be with.

The person who,

without, you wouldn’t know what to do.

The person who you trust with every fiber of your being.

The person who means more to you than anything else in the world;

who brightens even your darkest days;

who will always be there-

even if you are miles apart.

            Nothing comes between you and this person.

You are so alike,

you just know how that person is feeling by looking into that person’s eyes.

And when frustration passes between the two of you,

you feel like you might throw something because you don’t want to be upset with that person.

You feel utterly alone when the tension is high,

but neither of you do well with confrontation,

and you know that the only thing you can do is just

cool off.

            It’s the purest, most unconditional love around.

It’s the feeling of being home when you are in that person’s arms,

no matter how far away your house is.

It’s the ache,

deep in the pit of your stomach,

when you have to be somewhere that person isn’t.

It’s the feeling you get when you remember how you felt

when that person picked you up from the airport after the week

when you were on the other side of the country.

It’s knowing,

that even in the hardest times,

that person will make you laugh and forget what is stressing you out.

            You owe your life to this person.

Without this person,

you are nothing.

Without this person,

you literally would not be you.

Half of your genes-

yep, they are her’s.

Her genes are my genes.

She is my mother.

My best friend,

and biggest fan.

She’s a super hero in fabulous jeans,

and she is all mine.

She’s my chauffeur,

my personal chef,

and my biggest role model.

            My mom is so incredibly important to me. I feel empty if I don’t know what she thinks about everything I do. I work my little booty off to make her proud. And I know that I don’t tell her enough, but I appreciate everything she does for me. Without expecting anything in return, she just does what needs to be done.

No matter how hard I try,

she will still be there for me-

to coach me,

carry me,

or just let me vent whatever worries I have.

            She is the greatest,

most beautiful

and strong willed woman I’ve ever met.

I am so alike to her,

but I could never be her.

She is my sunshine,

and she will forever be my best friend.

A View From The Higheway

      Scrambling cars zip over and under, finding their winding path from Canada to Mexico. I am The Highway. I am engineered to withstand rain, snow, sunshine and you, and I never see a dime of your taxes. And I see the changing seasons, growing trees, birth and death. I live and breathe and do nothing all day and night to make sure that you get where you are going. I know what it’s like to live.

      It’s wet, and it’s cold, and yet you keep driving. I wonder if you are going someplace warm. The trees are all changing, and the horizon looks like a glorious bouquet of burning leaves. Commuters zip back and fourth- Salem to Portland, Portland to Salem. Yakking on cell phones- texting a friend. I see the crashes, and I hope and pray for every car I embrace in my wide-open arms that you get where you are going. I know what it’s like to live.

      It’s dry, and it’s warm, and the rain will be coming soon. But the hills are still burnt from the blazing sun and wild fires. This part of my road is a sad and barren place, stretching from the north end of California to the south end of Oregon. There aren’t any sheep, no cows or farms to be seen. There are only hills of nutrient deficient soil. A few birds might give me something to watch, however those bright blue skies haven’t seen the birds in a while- they haven’t started migrating yet. You might even be something interesting to watch if you weren’t a snoozing little kitty in this relentless, natural, basking sun. I may be as bored out of my mind as you are, but I’m here, doing my job to get you where you are going. I know what it’s like to live.

      It’s smoggy, and it’s hot, and people are always moving a million miles a minute. On a good day, you can see the hills, but it’s incredibly difficult to see them today. There are business people, families, and movie stars zipping around L.A. They hop on for a few miles, headed to Anaheim, Beverly Hills, or Hollywood. The children bounce in the back of those mini vans from out of town; they are going to see Mickey today, you know. High-powered executives, who needed whatever they were given today done yesterday, are impatiently, aggressively, audibly passing my other passengers like they own the place. There are plenty of things to see when you slow down a bit, but I know that you won’t, for you need to get where you are going. At least I know what it’s like to live.

      It’s breezy, and it’s warm, and there are plenty of people out enjoying the natural wonders of the beach. The hills and the water sparkle in contrasting greens and blues, respectively. The paths around the home of Shamu seem to be crawling with people who just want to go out and get a good jog, roller blade race, or bike ride in. I sit, and I watch, and I hope that the hundreds of pounds of power cords don’t fall down on my precious cargo. The Seals are “storming the beach”. But you mustn’t worry about them; the Navy knows what it is doing, and will keep you safe. They are getting to where they are going, and so are you. And I know what it’s like to live.

      It’s foggy, and it’s chilly, and there are boats in the bay if you look hard enough. The bridges and the islands are all visible from here, and I can see that you admire them. And what isn’t there to admire when you know that thousands of tons of metal stay perfectly in sync, withstanding huge ocean gusts, the frequent earthquakes of San Francisco, and the metal decaying sea air. On the shining hills to the east, I praise the “green thinkers” who have constructed the hundreds of windmills. Energy in its purest form; that’s what will get you where you are going. See, you are learning what it’s like to live.

      It’s dark, and it’s hard, and you will never be anywhere without it. I am The Highway, and I see everything. I appreciate the natural, honest, brutal changes that are displayed before me. And I wonder if I will ever be the headline of the local papers for something that is good. I see the death of young, stupid, innocent adolescents, and I hope that they didn’t die in vain. I hope that they got to where they are going. But the most that I ever hope for is that they truly learned what it’s like to live.

Creative Nonfiction

This is, I know an extremely random post today. And I know that I havent't posted anything in FOREVER! And I apologize... Yet, I am writing today to fulfill a class requirement. In my Creative Nonfiction writing class, we have been working on a lot of different essays. One of our final projects is to publish on of our essays. But I wrote a couple of really good papers, and so I am going to share them with you! =D 

However, they are both very long essays, so I am going to post them individually... A View From The Highway I wrote first, thus you may want to read that one first... and then Completeness I wrote later. I really hope that you enjoy them, and I would love some feedback on them, if you want to comment! =D

April Showers Bring May Flowers... May Showers Bring New Tastebuds

Okay... so really, I've not written since January 25th. That was a looooooongg time ago since it is now May 12th...

However, the above statement is not relevant to what I want to talk about today.

So, on Mother's Day, we went to my mom's IP's (intended parents, for those of you who don't know surro lingo) house for brunch. Well, J made a quiche. Those of you who really know me, know that I do not like eggs.. or things made with eggs... or things that taste like eggs. But... I decided that I would go out on a limb and take a bite of Kayte's. And what do you know! But I thought that quiche was soo good that I had to have my own piece! Crazieness! I know!!! But if you could have had a piece of that quiche... The crust was like eating heaven! And there was bacon... oh man! My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

The second thing happened today...
I was having some serious acid reflux. And so I had some tums. But those did not help. So once we were getting ready for dinner, and I asked my mom if chocolate milk would help settle it. She said it probably wouldn't because chocolate gives her heart burn and because of the sugar. So then I decided to try a tiny taste of regular white milk... And for those of you who know me well, know that regular white milk makes me gag!
But that taste of milk was good. So I poured myself a small glass and had it with dinner! And ya know what? My acid reflux isn't flairing up! Amazing!

So I guess all that crazy Oregon rain we got early this month has made my mouth change! Good for me! I can get more protine and calcium!

I wonder if I'd like regular eggs.. probably not, becaues the quiche didn't really have an eggy consitancy or flavor really.. So I might just have to get that recipe from J so that I can make it! =D

35 Things

It is absolutley beautiful outside right now... But I'm inside becasue it's cold, and I've got nothing to do, so I decided to blog!
It's amazing because I haven't since, well, forever! So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to write about myself, and sort of copy my mommy!

1] I am seventeen, but do not have my license. =C

2] I love to sing.

3] I love to knit.

4] I'm a big fan of reading, but I haven't found a good book since the Twilight Saga.

5] I love my family, and it makes me sad that I don't get to see all of them a lot.

6] I am a huge fan of music, and I like almost everything. But don't ask me what my favorite is, because that's like asking someone to count the sand in the ocean.

7] My mom is my hero. She means the world to me, and I cannot even imagine what my life would be like without her.

8] I would much rather hang out with my step-dad Kent, than with my dad.

9] I never, ever let my siblings know I love them, but I do. With all my heart. And I know that it's not very smart of me to argue with them, because one day it'll just be me and them, and I want to have a solid relationship with them when that happens.

10] I think Rascal Flatts makes me a little hormonal.

11] I bet my mom is crying and/or laughing right now, due to her pregnancy hormones. :-)

12] I've never had a boyfriend. But it doesn't totally bother me, because there is plenty of time for that later.

13] There are a few guys that I like.

14] I wish that I was in better physical shape.

15] I might start running this summer.

16] I wish we had a dog.

17] I am not a cat person.

18] I am a Duck fan.

19] I want to find a church.

20] I don't understand how people can look outside at the beauty of the world, and not believe that the Almighty crafted it.

21] A Walk To Remember is one of my favorite books and movies.

23] I love What Not To Wear.

24] I have about 70 pairs of shoes. ;-)

25] I hope to be a pastry chef when I grow up.

26] Facebook is better than Myspace.

27] I hate math with a passion. I really like all of my other class at school besides the latter.

28] I am a bit compettitive.

29] I would rather have a few friends that really know me, than have a whole gaggle of people who fallow me around.

30] Courtney Millsap is my best friend in the world.

31] I am a horrible speller, but I like to write.

32] I correct people's grammar a lot.

33] I think it's fun to people watch.

34] I think it would be really cool to have a flamboyantly gay friend.

35] I want to join the Peace Corps, and go to Kiribati (pronounced Kireebus).

And I could go on, but I'm sure that you've had enough.... =)

This is fact.

I am sorry ahead of time if I say anything that may hurt some people's feelings.

As of right now, I freaking HATE my step mother!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!! She is such a bitch it is ridiculous!


Here's the story:

I asked Caleb (the devil's spawn) if he wanted to make some popcorn balls. Well, he did. And he wanted to help. Well, that's just fine with me. So I start popping the corn on the stove (because that biotch and my father don't by the bag kind- which is also fine) and getting everything ready to go. Well, the devil's spawn keeps wanting to know if he can help, and he can't because there is nothing for him to do yet. Finally, everything is ready to go. And I ask him if he wants to help. Well, he says yeah. So I'm like, "Go wash your hands" and then he's like, "I washed them after I went to the bathroom" and I was like, "When? This morning?" And he's like, "yeah."
So I'm thinking, ummm, no! That's grosse! So I tell him to go wash his hands, and that biotch says he needs to wash his hands too. Well, that little spawn of the devil goes and throughs a compleatly illigitimate tantrum because he has to wash his hands! I'm like, "Umm, hello! You have to wash your hands before you touch other people's food! DUUHHH!!" Well, evidently he went down stairs to wash his hands. So that biotch tells him he needs to take off his coat and blanket. And then he starts freaking out again!
Finally he takes off his coat and blanket and comes into the kitchen, where I am a good seven popcorn balls in, and grabs this huge handfull of popcorn. And I'm like, "GAAHH!! YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" And of course this sends him off the deepend. So he goes wailing down the stairs again, with that biotch telling me that what I said was compleatly inaproprate, and that I shouldn't talk to him like that. Then she goes down stars to get the little brat and hollars up to me that I need to come appoligize to him! I'm thinking, 'What the heck! I'm making these balls, and I can't stop, or they will get all hard and I will not be able to form them anymore!' And I tell her that I can't stop or they will get hard. But nooo. I have to go down and appoligize to the spawn of the devil.
So I go down there, and I say "Geeze Caleb. I didn't know that you washed your hands, but you don't need to be acting like a freaking brat! I'm sorry, okay?!"
Evidently, I didn't say it the right way, because the witch my father married freaked out! And then sends me to my room.

So now there is still a huge bowl of popcorn that needs to be pressed into balls or else turn into some unedible brick of corn.

But I don't really care. She's a bitch and that's all I have to say about that.

If she says that I can't get my hair cut tomorrow, I will tell her that I am not going to watch her brat tomorrow, and then go to grams house and call my mom and wait to go home.

GOSH! I can't freaking stand her! She's like ten times worse than Cinderella's step-mom. Because cleanining and cooking and such, I can do. It's all this RAISING HER CHILD that I can't handle!

So yeah, Mom, if you're reading this, call me and tell me what to do. Because I don't know if I can wait for Dad to get home to even talk to him. I feel like giving them the bird and never coming back!

Until next time ♥

Guess who's not happy at the moment?

If you guessed me, you can go ahead and pat yourself on the back.... But do you know why??

If you guessed it had something to do with the fact that I'm at my dad's house, then give yourself a high-five.

So here's what went down...

As most of you know, I am going to D.C. on Monday. Well, this weekend is a four day weekend, and it just so happened that we (Michael and I) were banished to Tanni and Dad's. Okay- I'll live. But I was thinking that this would be a good weekend for me to get some stuff done. Like, say, get some homework done before I leave, hang out with a couple of friends, go shopping for more clothes for NYLC with my Gram, and/or get my hair cut. Well... the last two will be happening I'm just not sure when. Actually.... I'm getting my hair cut on Friday.

ANYWAY! We got here (dad's house) at like 7:00 pm. And then Dad, Michael, Caleb, and I watched Iron Man again. (great movie by the way) Then at about 9:30 ish, Tanni calls me into her room. So I go in, and she proceeds to give me the "run down" on what is going to happen this weekend. The first thing she says- "I'm working pretty much all weekend" Well isn't that just dandy! NOT! She continues to tell me that Caleb has school tomorrow, and that Micheal and I will be picking him up from school later in the afternoon. She however has to go to two out of her four jobs tomorrow. So she will not be here at all. Then, she tells me that Caleb doesn't have school friday, but she has to work in the morning. But, she will take me to get my hair cut when she is done. After that, she tells me that she also has to work on Saturday. (my dad also works on all of these three days) Then she asks if I want to go to West Salem High School's homecoming game. Well... the reason she wanted to know was because Caleb has this cub scouts thing that he has to do at some sporting event. Unbeknowest to me, Michael and I would have taken him by our selves!! I'm like, seriously!?!!?? I am not your on call babysitter/nanny person! I'm not even getting freaking paid for this! Nor am I getting asked to do all of this for her.

Well, I said no to the homecoming game (I didn't even go to OCHS's game, why would I go to WSHS's if I didn't even go there?), and they are just going to have to figure out another way of dealing with his thing. But now I have this stinking annoying thing that I have to deal with right before I leave!! Gosh. My head hurts.

So now I'm contemplating some things. I think that, if it's okay with Gram, I will go shopping tomorrow so that we don't have to worry about Caleb. Then after that, I'm not sure. But when I know what I'm going to do, I will defenatly blog about it! =D

Untill next time ♥